I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
