I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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