Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
