Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
