I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize