Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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