if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
It was confusing and full of hummus
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Randomize
