Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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