Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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