I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
