I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Are my feet made of real feet?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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