just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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