he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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