If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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