I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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