Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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