I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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