Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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