Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
