it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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