i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
