the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
