Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
