oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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