Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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