My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
