That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
