My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
it was like eating out sand paper
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
