Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
