he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
