HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
