i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
