I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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