I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
