I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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