We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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