YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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