my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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