i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize