We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
