someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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