I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Randomize
