Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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