So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
