Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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