you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
