Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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