To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
