Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
