I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
this beer tastes like vomit already
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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