After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
