I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
