i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
