During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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