Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He felt like a one man threesome
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
