I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
