girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize