when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize