My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Randomize
