is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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