I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
