Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
