my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
