so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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