But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize