All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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