I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
