those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
