I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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