youre lurking in front of me
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
