i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
tell me about the eggs
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
