im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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